This may be a bad idea...

Yep, i am posting at... 12:30 AM. This may be the most random post ever. And the fact that i am listening to Owl City might make this pretty strange. Sensitive, realistic people may want to leave the computer.

My lucky streak in Middle School has finally ended. I used to think that I was one of the few people who could survive this milestone without too much damage. Well I have just been shot down. I know that a few days ago I was really happy but that shows you that a lot can change in a few days. What mostly happened is that I kinda feel betrayed. I feel like some people were using me. A few I already knew about, but one of them has slightly surprised me. Now this is just my assumption, but I thought that when people were friends it was for more than just 5 weeks. Yes, I am talking about one of my friends. We used to be so close, almost like family. we talked almost every night, with a few texts here and there. I shared small secrets (I dont really trust easily) and advice, and the actions were reciprocated. I felt so close to him, and then I find out that after a while, he started to loose interest. I may just be feeling selfish and focusing on myself, but it seems like he has moved on while I thought we were still close. I should have seen it when I saw that the conversations stopped being about our feelings and thoughts and experiences, and more about our day, and other random small talk that means nothing to me. This drives me crazy. I thought I had finally figured out who my real friends are, but I guess life still had some surprises in store for me. Maybe tjhis is for the best, but I still can't help but feel abandonned. It may not be his fault though. Maybe I forced him into this, pulling him away from his friends and making him listen to my ramblings, much like I am making you guys do. But I thought that this was what made us close, the fact that I had finally found another friend who would listen, another person I could turn to when times got tough. But that pretty much over know. I may be too hasty about this, and I will probably forgive him if he comes back, but that may be my mistake. Anyways, I need  to make these mistakes to truly find my friends. maybe I will stop picking the wrong ones. At least I made some right choices in the MS, I do have two of the best friends in the world. One to understand my problems and help me get through them, the other to cheer me up and keep me distracted until my problems seem so useless that I forget them. They make a perfect pair, and I was probably foolish to try to add a third person to our group. Lesson learned. I dont need a long lecture, i get it...

That was my moment of rambling. I actually feel so much better. Posts like this will probably be rare if I can keep them from overflowing my mind, but I understand if no one cares about the few that I do let come to life.

xoxoxo
loulou 





Sorry for the huge video, I will prob change my blog again, but not right now, its really late... I need to get some sleep. Good night