It has been way too long.

I don't even know if anyone else is actually going to read this but I need to put this out there even for just my own sanity.
It's been over a year since my last post and I don't want that to be the case anymore. Since the beginning of this year (2013) I made a new years resolution to write in a journal everyday. And so far it's been pretty successful, Ive only forgotten once or twice (or four times but shhh) but a topic that has come up a few times since the beginning of the year has been the topic of going back to this blog.

I'm not gonna lie, I've really missed this. Not only all the friends I made on here that I sort of kind of, well, abandoned... Not just them, but just the feel of blogger. One of the main reasons I went on here less is because I got a Tumblr (we won't go into that...) but it's also cause I thought I had gotten bored of this layout and needed something new (like tumblr) and while I still use tumblr, I really miss my online journal. Because that is what this is. And since I'm already writing a journal every day, why not have an online one as well? So, here is what I thought. I've been wanting to get back on this blog for a while now, somehting like 6 months, I've just never done it. (cause I'm lazy and easily distracted and I'm also terrified. I really am. I don't know how people are going to react to this or if anyone is and I don't know how I'm gonna react, but life is about taking controlled risks isn't it? This is my risk) however today is the day I go back to this blog, that was a really big part of me for something like two years give or take a few weeks.

With the new school year approaching (only two more until I'm done with High School) I thought now would be a nice time to start again , since I didn't start at the new years like I was planning on doing at first. I am definitely not going to write everyday (or at least not for a while at the beginning), But I never did that. Instead, I'm going to try to write something about once a week, if I have anything interesting to say it might be a long post, or it might be twice or even thrice in one week, and some weeks might be just one sentence posts saying not much has changed, but I think this will do me some good.

I think of this especially for the future. I want to be able to look back on this blog and think "I'm so glad I did this, I made a few friends and had a great way of keeping track of it all and now I have it here forever to cringe and cry and laugh at. I'm already feeling sentimental and also slightly worried at the things I wrote two years ago. (wow I was a strange person when I was younger, though not much has changed, just the ways in which I express my strangeness I guess) So, sometime this week, hopefully today if I have the courage, I'm giving this blog a new makeover! A brand new look and a new URL for an old blog filled with old memories. It seems fitting as a new start! At least it does to me.

I don't know what will come of this do over of sorts, or how long it will last, but I hope it's a while, and I hope it's a lovely ride, because I will always look back on these years fondly, and I just hope I have many fond years to look back on.

To new beginnings
xoxo
Loulou
(I think this is how I signed off before? Or maybe the writing was pink?)

The curtain falls

So opening night. Five months of three rehearsals a day, balanced with the regulated 2-3 hours of homework and the problem of the ever distracting internet. This, coupled with long days spent repeating the same few sentences over and over again until they are branded into our minds is what makes up the life of your average school attending actor. And then, after five months of infernal struggles only understandable to the average adolescent, it all comes down to 2, maybe 3 nights. 2 nights where you let yourself go. All the fear that was felt, all the pain that happened in your life, all the insults thrown at you, all the jokes made: those all disappear. The butterflies in your stomach the day of eat up all these insecurities, the pounds of foundation and eye liner hid you fears and you are born anew.
The atmosphere backstage is filled with electricity. People buzzing about, adjusting an earring here, a strand of hair there. Suddenly, surrounded by all these wonderfully talented people, it's no longer just you, but it isnt a group either. It is a family, the cast of a show that may be done once, or 100 times. Either way, these people will never all be the same way in the same room ever again. They will never be in exactly the same mindset as they are right now. You will never share

*Edit* again, another unfinished post (for whatever reason) and another theatre one. I guess you see where my priorities are at! I honestly don't know what play this is for, but it always applies. And hey, the more posts the merrier!

Shaking hands and nervous laughter

So... I'm back. It's been a while old friend. It's nice to know you are still here when I need someone to talk to, in internet form I guess? Basically, thank you for still being here blog. It's nice to know two and a half years of my life will always stay in my memory. And yes, I know I am currently talking to a webpage that is basically what I have shaped it to be, but I'm having a moment okay?

Because really, what else can we control in life? Not much, I can tell you that. So when you find something you can shape, and change, and be proud of, then by all means do that. So if I decide that this blog, that I was proud of until I sadly stopped posting, deserves to be talked to, then I shall talk to it. Don't listen to others old friend, I'm proud of you, just not what I have done lately. But fear not, I have a story to tell you, one I believe you will enjoy.

I had my first audition of my High School career today. The play this year is the Laramie Project and I'm very excited to see what our director has in store for us. But I cannot handle these auditions. I am personally not nervous, I guess. But it's just my school has quite a good theater program and

*Edit* I don't know why this was never posted but this proves that I did try to get back on this blog ever so often and that makes me a little happier. I'll just publish this as is I guess. This is from September or October 2012, not so sure anymore. But hey, better late than never!