Wow, 2012 already

I can't believe I haven't posted in over two months... I kinda feel bad. I used to love blogging. I guess things change. What's weird is that I still enjoy it. I guess just not as much. But I have decided to keep this blog, to use it whenever I want to, or whenever I need to. To vent, like now. Because I'm pretty sure no one cares, and that is totally fine by me, but today my idol, Darren criss, is making his broadway debut. And I have been freaking out. And I will admit that I have cried over 5 times today. Maybe even 10 times. All because of one amazing man making his dreams come true. So here is my venting: Okay well in one hour and twenty minutes Darren Criss is on broadway ... I can't right now... You do not know how many times I have cried today. Like I know sometimes we joke about like hating Darren cause he is perfect and everything but...... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I mean sometimes it physically pains me. After I saw the video he posted about being backstage I felt uneasy. Like I had physical pains to my stomach. They were like butterflies in my stomach, but the butterflies were carrying little knifes that they enjoyed cutting me with. Now I kinda need a picture of a butterfly with a knife. And now Darren is about to cry into my earphones because teenage dream just means so much to him. Like he means so much to us. And I do not understand how I used to live. I mean what the hell used to make me smile? Because nothing makes me smile more than Darren. And, I am already crying, and the song has only been playing for 52 seconds. I don't not think this is normal. And his voice is already faltering. I just really need to hug someone right now, preferably Darren or Chris or you. Speaking of Chris, I really and truly love him, so very very much. But he isn't Darren. I am incredibly proud of Chris and OMG DARREN IS CRYING... But yes I am also incredibly proud of Chris but I don't know. He just hasn't inspired me as much as Darren. I mean he has made me want to write a book but you know, thats more like a side project. Whereas Darren makes me want to write music, write plays and musicals, be a goofball, love Harry potter, be myself, reach for my dreams, have no shame, not be afraid to try. Basically Darren is pushing me to be a better person. And both Darren and Chris have taught me about LGBTQ youth and how mistreated they are, because I was never really exposed to this. They basically introduced me to the Trevor Project. Like I had heard about it but I didn't actually know what it was. But they both showed me what it was and how amazing it is and how unfairly people are treated because of something as unimportant as their sexuality. It's like treating someone badly because of their hair or eye or skin color. (Oh wait... That also happens.... I don't like this aspect of the planet...) but anyways I guess back to Darren. I just do not understand what my life was like before him. I mean honestly. Wtf did I used to do with my life. I'm pretty sure I just sat on Facebook all day. Well I do not regret the day I decided to go onto tumblr. I do not regret the day I decided to discover more about Blaine Anderson, and eventually discover more about that Darren guy who plays him, and discover more about the theatre group that he co-founded, and more about the different plays and actors and their side projects and my whole life has been amazing since then. I swear now the littlest thing can make me happy. Like seeing the numbers 36 or 47. That shouldn't make me happy, yet it does. Seeing Darren or Chris, or even Adam for that matter, makes me happy. Speaking of Adam, I think he deserves more credit from me. He was the first celebrity I was obsessed with, I mean before Darren took over my life. I used to do what I do with darren but with Adam. Except back then I didn't have tumblr. But I would literally listen to owl city and glee all day. Now just add Darren criss and starkid onto that and you have my life in the present. No but seriously, Adam was actually probably the first person to get me hooked onto songwriting. Darren just reinforced that. Plus meeting Adam proved to me that he is genuinely a nice person and shows that there are still humble people in the world. It was honestly a great experience and I just wish it could happen. And now there is only one hour left till Darren makes his Broadway debut. I am so proud and I hope darren knows how proud all of his fans are.  It feels so good to get that off my chest! And I hope that I will remember this blog. So that maybe in 10-20 years I will go back and see what made me laugh, cry, smile... Back when I was a young and carefree teenager too busy complaining about school to know that these are probably some of the best years of all of our lives. So I leave you with a hopefully short farewell, and only 50 minutes left until Darren criss goes from YouTube sensation to Broadway star... (this should be in pink but Im on my phone) Xoxoxo, Loulou